De Facto Times

The gate opened with a horrible scraping screech, and Adam recoiled as the invasive blinding light flooded into his cage. He was hungry, and he was weary from pounding the walls with his fists, and he was also pretty sure he was ill somehow. More than anything he wanted some nice refreshing vegetation to curb his hunger, a cool puddle to quench his thirst, and a perfectly-shaped branch to lie on and take a nap. 

Adam was a chimpanzee, by the way.

He hopefully closed his eyes and opened them again, but found, as he expected, that the items he wanted had not materialized in front of him. That trick never worked. At least the disappointment was now almost negligible.

Squinting heavily, he wandered out of the deep shadows of his cage into the blindingly bright outside. At first, the spots dancing before his eyes and the pounding in his head from the rude awakening was unbearable, but they quickly began to fade away, and as they did Adam began to take in the outside environment. It was some sort of room, but not like the cage he had been trapped in – this was much bigger, and there was no discernible ceiling, unless it had been impeccably disguised as the sky. The room was round and empty, and the walls were very high and curved inwards, impossible to climb. The sun gleamed proudly overhead.

Contrasted with the sheet metal floors of Adam’s cage, the room that housed it had no floor, and Adam enjoyed the feeling of the hard soil under his knuckles, baked hard in the light of the day. The rays were warm on his fur, but it was a fresh sort of warmth, not like the smothering weight of the heat that was inside his cage. 

Adam couldn’t remember how long he’d been in his cage for, but it had certainly been long enough for him to have forgotten the true feeling of the outside, and he was not disappointed by the sensation he had been hoping to reexperience for so long. He laid on his back, let the sky’s great supply of clean air touch his tummy gently, and was happy for several long minutes.

Once he felt that his spirits had been sufficiently restored by the unique caress of nature, Adam stood back up and looked around the open room very carefully. There was a large iron box with an open door behind him, which was of course his cage, but from what he could see that was the only object of note in the room, other than himself. This was concerning to him, as he had no idea how he had come to be placed in the cage in the first place, let alone the room, and from what he could see there were no means of escape or nourishment.

This was a scary thought, but he tried to ignore it for the sake of his own calmness. His vision might have gotten worse from having spent so much time in a metal cage without food or drink. He decided to explore the room.

One of the first things he noticed was that the box that had been his cage seemed to have perfectly straight sides and walls that intersected at right angles. From this, he surmised that it was not a naturally formed item, but had been constructed by some sentient creature with the capabilities of creating perfectly straight or perpendicular lines. And from that, it seemed only logical that this sentient creature had placed him in this room, which, due to the perfectly round walls, was most likely another of its creations.

Perhaps the creature views me as a threat, thought Adam, and has placed me in a barren area to get rid of me somehow. 

That was another unpleasant thought, so he still tried to consider alternatives in order to stay cheerful. 

Is there anything in this room, Adam thought as he moved along the perimeter, that could suggest how I could escape or survive here?

And he found something! Footprints, and chimpanzee footprints for that matter! Excitedly, Adam began sniffing them, sniffing for clues of any kind, and he found tufts of chimp fur and drops of chimp blood!

Other chimps have been in here! Adam thought. And given that they are not in here now, they must have figured out a way to escape! Unless, of course, they died and their bodies were disposed of.

But he felt that now he could safely rule out the proposition that he had been placed in the room solely as a means to kill him. Clearly, the sentient creature that had constructed the room could have taken his life if it so desired.

Does it want something from me? Adam thought. Perhaps there is a certain action or behavior I could display that would warrant being released! But what could that be?

He puzzled over this for a good long while, but after a few minutes his puzzling was interrupted by another horrible scraping screech. He looked up from the crumbs of soil he had been playing with to occupy his hands while his mind was at work, and to his shock he saw, on the other end of the room, another cage, with another open door, and emerging from it another chimp!

Adam had no idea how this other cage had gotten there, but he wanted to rear up on his hind legs in excitement, since he now had a companion to brainstorm with and just hang out with, but his gaze fell upon an even more important item: in the center of the round room, a large leaf with a ripe banana on it. The sight of it made Adam’s stomach turn over with hunger.

Adam was sure that these arrivals were the work of the sentient constructor, and he now had cause to believe that this creature was kind and had interest in keeping him alive, much to his relief. Though the prospect of possibly living in an empty room forever with only one friend was not terribly appealing to him, it was a lot more reassuring than being held captive by an enemy.

Eagerly, he moved forward to eat the banana. At the same time, he saw the other chimp move forward.

The other chimp also wanted the banana.

Immediately, Adam bristled with fury, and made his hands and feet into fists, claws digging into his palms and soles with rage. He needed that banana, he was hungry! But he tried to ignore his angry thoughts and tried to reason.

The constructor must be intelligent and powerful, having constructed as it had. It must have known that this food was insufficient to feed both of them. What, then, were its motives in only providing one banana?

Adam sensed similar fury from the other chimp, and he realized that the natural response was to fight over the food. Perhaps the constructor wanted them to fight? Just by looking around the room, he realized that the scatterings of fur and blood had likely been shed in chimp-against-chimp combat. Sizing up his potential opponent, Adam’s heart sank at the prospect of fighting him; more likely than not it would end in Adam’s demise.

Ever an optimist, he still thought of alternatives. The consistency of the fur and blood could imply that more than one set of chimps had been brought into this room before. Whatever the constructor wanted from its chimps, evidently that behavior hadn’t happened yet – otherwise it would have no need for Adam.

How should we act? Adam thought, sensing the fight impending with his rival. If we aren’t here to fight, what else could it want from us?

He considered a possibility.

Evidently the constructor is significantly more intelligent than we are. Perhaps it has put us in this situation for the sake of learning about us. Perhaps it wants us to demonstrate behavior comparable to its own? But how can we, if the constructor is advanced enough to build round walls and straight walls, and we are just chimps?

Adam sadly thought of his rainforest home and his family. He wanted to be there much more than this terrifying room.

He tried to think advanced thoughts, thoughts that a more intelligent creature might have, and he tried to discover the behavior he was meant to exemplify. Just give me time, he thought. I must be able to figure it out…

But the other chimp suddenly lunged for the banana, and Adam’s anger ignited.

Ignoring his physical disadvantage, he leaped at the other chimp and tried to pull him apart. The other chimp fought back. They dealt powerful swipes and clawings at each other, gashing each other, breaking the other’s limbs, wrestling and each hurling the other into the ground with brutal force.

Against all odds, though, Adam found himself with his hands on his enemy’s head. Without thinking, he twisted, and killed his foe instantly. Of course.

He then ate the banana, sat on his haunches, and more calmly tried to figure out what behavior the constructor was expecting him to exemplify. Moments later, a disappointed scientist shot him with a rifle from the top of the walls. 

Adam died immediately. His last thoughts were very pleasant and hopeful ones about the rainforest he meant to return to.